Pack Your Bags, Roger

Now that everyone with a pulse knows he’s a proven liar, how can Roger Goodell remain commissioner of the NFL? He can’t. At this point, a monkey would have more credibility than this clown.

First things first… Before I tell you why I (or anyone) would be a better person to lead the most popular sport in the country, let’s examine the ways NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has shown what a rat liar he really is… Nobody in the NFL saw Ray Rice treating his then fiance like Tyson Treated Spinks. Wrong. The NFL couldn’t legally get the tape. Also wrong. The league didn’t know what was on the repulsive tape that has embarrassed “the shield” more than any player has under Goodell’s watch. Wrong again. You see, Roger Goodell has always been a cocky bully trying to convince stupid fans that he was doing right by them and cleaning up the game.

Now? His cover up for an aging running back that doesn’t matter has ruined his already shitty reputation, and proven just how asinine some of his decisions have been. 9 games for Aldon Smith for DUI and a guns charge that would have been virtually impossible to prove. 16 games for Josh Gordon for being dumb enough to fail drug tests, even though the majority of the league blazes the roof off whenever they can. And, 2 games for a pile of feces that knocked out his fiance. Those penalties alone make Goodell look like a clown, but the lying is giving everyone a glimpse into just how big of a scumbag this entitled asshole really is.

Goodell’s credibility is gone no matter who the other NFL’s rats in suits decide will ultimately take the fall. Why lie? And why lie for a player that doesn’t matter? If it were me, I wouldn’t try and cover up for any player in my league. The NFL is and will always be bigger than one player. Plus, is there an NFL player ever that would cause me to jeopardize losing my $40+ million annual salary? No, there isn’t one. That’s how embarrassingly stupid Goodell must be to risk his reputation for Ray Fucking Rice! And just think, pretty soon the macho league will promote breast cancer awareness month. How ridiculous is that going to look if Goodell is still in charge?

How can you possibly let Goodell announce or be present when the new Bills owner takes over. How can this slimy douche hand out the Lombardi in February? Look everyone, there’s the guy that covered for a woman beater!

The problem is, the owners that make gobs of money won’t be in any hurry to oust Goodell. So yeah, we’re probably stuck with this mut even though he’s making the equally creepy Gary Bettman look like David Stern. Goodell’s iron fist has been comical ever since he took over. There was the big bad ass on the block trying to clean up the streets, only to be proven to be a conniving fraud that nobody in their right mind should trust.

Just think how much better the NFL would be if I ran the show…

One, Dean Blandino’s bitch ass and the whole point of emphasis garbage that is making any fan of defense vomit on themselves regularly would be fired before the ink dried from my signature. It’s one thing to try and turn a violent game into pussified nonsense, but to ignore the obvious and insult real fan’s intelligence is typical Goodell. The illegal contact and pass interference calls have become laughable. Next thing you know, they’ll make defenses play with 10 people.

Here’s a newsflash for the suckholes at the NFL, not all of us want to see 45-42 games. That shit doesn’t do a thing for me. I like seeing really good QB’s & receivers have to earn everything they get. Honestly, only in this league can a 3rd & 21 be erased into a 1st down by a 5-yard illegal contact call. How the fuck does that make sense? That play happened in the 49ers Cowboys game and gave Dallas a free touchdown. These poor officials have no idea what to call anymore, and Goodell and Blandino are the reasons why. Back in the day, you knew what was pas interference. Did that stop Montana, Elway & Marino from lighting it up? No, it proved just how great they were.

Goodell’s Heads Up football program is also completely full of shit. Hey Rog, here’s a newsflash, asshole… Football isn’t a safe game. Never has been and never will be. Insulting our intelligence while promoting safety yet refusing to institute HGH testing only makes you look worse. You want to cut down on violent collisions? Fine, stop letting your finely tuned athletes turn themselves into war machines that are basically science projects. But you don’t want to do that, I know. You’d rather just flag players for any hit that looks remotely violent. Cool story, bro.

As for suspensions, anyone convicted of domestic violence is gone for the year. Period. Not “hey, here’s two games, I mean six games… I mean indefinite suspension!” Who thinks like that besides this bumbling imbecile? Nobody. As for weed and DUI’s, those penalties would never exceed a domestic violence suspension because hitting a woman is basically the worst thing a man can do after killing someone. Length of weed and DUI suspensions depend on how many failed tests and DUI’s a player has, but if the player shows a willingness to get better (like Aldon Smith’s 6-week rehab stint last season), I’m not giving him seven more games than Ray Rice. That’s just idiotic. And if weed becomes legal eventually, I wouldn’t care if players smoked. If that helps them recover during the week to play at a higher level on Sundays, fine.

The league has more issues than just domestic violence. It’s the biggest story now, of course, but that’s mainly because a mental midget is running that league. And once this story slowly starts to go away, it will only be a matter of time before Goodell fucks up another off the field issue. And yes, that’s coming because there’s no chance the owners will push this jerk-off out like they should. As Vince McMahon once famously said… “It’s all about the monnnn-aaaaay!”

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