- 1 Question: When is WrestleMania 33?
- 2 Answer: Sunday, April 2, 2017
Question: When is WrestleMania 33?
Answer: Sunday, April 2, 2017
Goldberg Vs. Roman Reigns
Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar
Shaquille O’Neal vs. Big Show
Shane McMahon vs. AJ Styles
Randy Orton (c) vs. Bray Wyatt
John Cena vs. Samoa Joe
Hall of Fame broadcaster Jim Ross once said that he couldn’t care less who won a match in professional wrestling as long as the crowd was engaged and felt strongly about both competitors. That’s an understandable feeling, and one that most wrestling fans take to when they’re attending or watching a wrestling show. When the outcomes are scripted beforehand, why get all worked into a lather of who wins and loses, right? While that’s normally the feeling, many fans want to be thrown for a loop in some way, especially at WrestleMania. One of the greatest endings to a ‘Mania was when Stone Cold Steve Austin turned heel and sided with Vince McMahon at WrestleMania 17 in ’01 when the chairman helped his biggest nemesis defeat The Rock for the then WWF title.
It was a defining moment for not only The Attitude Era, but for the history of the business. Here was the most popular figure in wrestling history turning heel in the main event of the WWE’s Super Bowl, and joining forces with, perhaps, wrestling’s biggest heel. As far as WrestleMania “moments” go, it was as big and important as anything that had happened since The Montreal Screwjob. And, the fact that it happened right after McMahon bought his competition WCW, the entire wrestling world was fixated on the only premier organization for such entertainment.
While longtime wrestling fans rightly assume the outcomes of matches within seconds of them being announced, there’s something to be said for when we can sit back and say “holy shit, I didn’t see that coming.”
When it comes to this year’s ‘Mania, it doesn’t take a wrestling savant to predict who will win the three biggest matches on the card. Hell, a chimp could watch the promos for The Rock vs John Cena, CM Punk vs The Undertaker and Triple H vs Brock Lesnar and know who will have their hand raised at MetLife on April 7th.
But that’s where I come in. As I detailed in my last wrestling piece, common knowledge suggests that Cena will “exact his revenge” on The Rock and regain the WWE Championship, The Undertaker will move to 21-0 at ‘Mania and Triple H will save his career and somehow defeat Lesnar.
Too easy, I know. The sizzle is missing because gearing up for ‘Mania is almost like planning a lazy night to watch your favorite movie. You know what’s going to happen, but that won’t stop you from tuning in. Or if you’re a Cubs fan like me, watching any game from your lifetime up until 2015… At the earliest.
With only the World Heavyweight title match between Alberto Del Rio and Jack Swagger in question (DUI aside, Swagger should walk away with the strap and build on one of the best heel characters of the Cena-PG Era), this card needs some juice to it.
We’ll only mention the Ryback Mark Henry match because the only thing that can make this watchable will be if Ryback ruptures a quad walking to the ring. A match of super heavyweights is a throwback of sorts, but what kind of excitement can be built when Goldberg 2.0 is a lock to win? Feel free to not stretch before the match, Ryback. It’s cool, bro, trust me.
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The Undertaker’s streak needs to end at some point, but the rushed rivalry with CM Punk doesn’t feel like the time. Punk should be the one to end 20-0, but only if Taker is planning on retiring. That’s not likely, so after months of saving his WWE title by outside interference (maybe the time has come to push Seth Rollins & Dean Ambrose as solo wrestlers?), it’s time for Punk to feel the wrath of Kane (or someone the WWE wants to push) to help keep the streak alive. They’ve made Taker look vulnerable before, so why not one more time? That way, you instantly have a budding star to promote in Punk’s absence (he’s taking much needed time off after ‘Mania), and you have your set up for a rematch in New Orleans at WrestleMania XXX where the streak should absolutely end at the hands of the best performer the WWE has on it’s roster. And if this Taker’s last ride, Punk should be the 1 in 20-1.
Instead of having Triple H’s career on the line in the No Holds Barred match with Lesnar, Trips’ position as C.O.O. of the WWE should have been at stake. Could you imagine if Brock won the match and they could cut a bunch of promos of him in his cutoff T’s sleeping in board meetings? That would be genius. That, or have Paul Heyman as the new C.O.O. and let him run Raw for a while which would be compelling television. Could you imagine Heyman at WWE Headquarters running the show? Raw would be a must watch just for those promos alone. I don’t know about you, but I could go for a few months of Heyman putting his own imprint on this product.
Think of the shock and awe factor (a dying occurrence in the PG/Cena Era) if Vince made his way to the ring during the match and helped Lesnar win with a char shot to Trips’ dome? Or, perhaps a jaded Stephanie helps Lesnar win because she’s sick of her husband trying to wrestle control of the company from her.
Career ending matches rarely hold up in pro wrestling (you remember Randy “Macho Man” Savage losing to The Ultimate Warrior at ‘Mania VII, right?), so Triple H losing would only be the beginning of a story line that would culminate with him eventually getting his C.O.O. position back with the help of Vince or Stephanie (whoever didn’t screw him at ‘Mania).
The six-man tag team match needs to end in some kind of swerve. You can’t pimp The Shield for all of this time just to see them get dismantled by the super team of Randy Orton, Sheamus and The Big Show. It’s unlikely they’ll let The Shield run over these three, so why not have Orton turn on Sheamus and Show to help The Shield win? Orton is long overdue for a title run, and he’s always been at the top of his game as a heel.
Here’s what happens… Orton RKO’s Sheamus just before he’s about to hit a Brogue Kick to Ambrose, and allows The Shield to steal one. “Why Randy, why?” can be the theme of the finish, and it could set up Orton to challenge Cena in the coming months. The time has come for Orton to beat Cena cleanly for a title. I know Vince would have a mini stroke if anyone broached this idea to him, but it’s long overdue.
It would be fitting for Fandango to tweak an ankle dancing on stage before facing Chris Jericho. Johnny Curtis brings nothing to the table and shouldn’t be on this card in a bigger match than Antonio Cesaro.
Since WWE Divas Champion Kaitlyn isn’t wrestling A.J. Lee, why not incorporate the real life relationship of Daniel Bryan and Brie Bella? Brie could help Team Hell No retain the tag titles and set up a feud with A.J. it won’t happen, just like the WWE would never acknowledge the Nikki Bella and Cena relationship. Imagine the comedy of seeing Cena interact with Bryan on a weekly basis in backstage promos…
Speaking of Hogan 2.0, it’s virtually pointless to come up with any swerve for the main event. With The Rock leaving to film “Hercules” shortly after ‘Mania, the rematch is as intriguing as any match between a star of the 80′s and some poor jobber. Would a Cena heel turn make this event? Of course. Even Cena’s most dedicated haters wouldn’t mind seeing him cheat to win back the WWE title. Maybe it’s Cena who uses help from The Shield to beat Rock? That, or why not have Cena just lose again? If Cena must win, why not have Lesnar come out and attack The Rock to set up a match between those two at ‘Mania XXX?
It doesn’t matter if Rock drops the title the next night on Raw, anything is better than having Cena walk away with a clean win. As much as the WWE tries to hammer Cena down our throats, he isn’t the entertainer or performer Rock is, and he isn’t worthy of beating a guy that Hogan couldn’t defeat on two separate occasions.
Professional wrestling is always better when you’re left anticipating what will happen next, but that hasn’t been the WWE’s objective but for a few select story lines over the past several years. And considering that it’s WrestleMania 33 and tickets are hot, we shouldn’t have to beg for a few curve balls to be thrown our way.