‘Louies Finest’ Archives
The Worldwide Suckholes
A new low was reached this week when "The worldwide leader in sports" exposed itself once again to being nothing more than a sports entertainment network. Yes, the agenda having ass-bags at ESPN made a spectacle of themselves by celebrating a birthday of a backup quarterback and punt coverage guy that they've somehow placed at at the [...]
A Big Fight Feel
There was nothing like the excitement and electricity that a big fight brought me growing up. My family has always been huge boxing fans, and growing up in the 80's allowed us to witness numerous boxing fights that actually mattered. The moments before a Mike Tyson fight elicited feelings that very few athletes and circumstances could. [...]
GarPax’s Last Stand
It's inexcusable to be content as a Bulls fan these days, but that's exactly what you'll have to be as another two seasons are wasted on West Madison St.. No, losing the vaunted "Bench Mob" isn't a travesty, but prepare yourself for a repeat of of the '08-'09 & '09-'10 seasons as the Bulls try to clear the decks and make one more run [...]
We’re All Idiots
All it took was Kobe Bryant opening his mouth and and reminding so many why they hate him in the first place. I'd throw the quote in here, but it will only feed the dumbest argument this side of "Should the Bulls match the Omer Asik offer sheet?" I laughed initially too, MJ. It's cool. I was fortunate to have been old enough to [...]
The Queen Diva
For whatever reason, far too many people shake their head in disgust at WWE fans for continuing to watch Vince McMahon's product. They simply don't get it, and think watching Raw every week is as galling as watching old Golden Girls episodes. They don't understand or appreciate the unintentional comedy that the best soap opera on [...]
The Small Market Bulls
Here's a little known fact- the owners of the Chicago Bulls have made more than $2 billion. The way that Jerry Reinsdorf runs the Bulls compared to the White Sox is a slap in the face to everyone that throws a bunch of money down to go watch a team full of one way regular season pimps (sans Derrick Rose, of course). Did you know the Bulls have [...]
Get Off LeBron’s Balls
I wasn't going to do it. I wanted to stay away from even acknowledging the Heat's championship after David Stern's LeBron Mandate, but the suckholes in the media make it impossible. From Thursday night's coronation that was 9 years in the making, ass-bags like Stuart Scott, everyone who cashes an ESPN check, clowns on Chicago sports radio [...]
Floyd’s A Lightweight
What is a three month jail term in the grand scheme of things if you're Floyd Mayweather? "Money" apparently made $85 million for his last two fights ($40 million for busting up Victor Ortiz's soft as puppy shit ass and $45 million for fighting Miguel Cotto. He was just named the highest paid athlete in the U.S. He saw his chief rival get [...]
Stern’s LeBron Mandate
Every sports league or company needs a face guy. You need your biggest name or best player to look good and shine brightest on the big stage, and not embarrass him or herself. There aren't many Fortune 500 companies that throw out some bumbling idiot like Bobby Pellitt to represent them. David Stern & the NBA higher ups still feel the [...]
Louie’s 2012 NBA Player Rankings
With the NBA season sprinting towards the finish line and David Stern's mandate to get LeBron James a title nearly complete, this is a perfect time to introduce my 45 most valuable players in the NBA today. Why 45? Well, I was watching highlights and games from Michael Jordan's comeback season in '95 and forgot how solid MJ looked in that [...]
