A new low was reached this week when “The worldwide leader in sports” exposed itself once again to being nothing more than a sports entertainment network. Yes, the agenda having ass-bags at ESPN made a spectacle of themselves by celebrating a birthday of a backup quarterback and punt coverage guy that they’ve somehow placed at at the forefront of their remedial sports coverage. It’s bad enough to be force fed topics and athletes in the way they want you to view them, but having a birthday celebration for anyone, let alone a guy who embarrasses himself at the quarterback position was the day Bristol hit rock bottom.
Tell me ESPN, how does Aaron Rodgers or Tom Brady not get the same kind of birthday love? I know, it’s because they have the talent to throw for over 4,000 yards and 40 TD’s in their sleep. Who could possibly sit there in a production meeting and say “Okay guys, here’s what we’re going to do today… We’re going to come back from commercial with BREAKING NEWS… It’s the self righteous douche juice’s birthday!” That makes sense, it’s not like Michael Phelps, Gabby Douglas, Misty May-Treanor and the rest of the U.S. athletes just got done ripping the world a new asshole in the Olympics or anything.
According to Deadspin, Mr. I’m Really Excited got 65 mentions on Sportscenter throughout the week, compared to Phelps’s 38. Why would you lead with or over cover the greatest Olympian in history? That’s right, it’s because having more BREAKING NEWS segments about the Jets running the wildcat offense in practice is entirely more relevant. Totally.
Instead of being a real ass sports network and covering the Chad Johnson arrest (which made for an awesome and second highest viewed episode of Hard Knocks ever), fans were subjected to a Chuck E Cheese style birthday bash. Fuck you, ESPN. Seriously, go fuck yourselves.
I don’t know who Kevin Negandhi is, but I don’t envy his life one bit. Could you imagine going to work and being forced to read birthday tweets to some dickbag that can’t throw a 15 yard out? Oh, and the trio of Herman Edwards, Adam Schefter and Marcellus Wiley can all kiss my black ass for offering this clown birthday wishes. This is what journalism is these days? You can have it. But yeah, putting on party hats is a good look though, guys.
We’re not done. Apparently, the sports entertainment network asked another 4th grade quality question about who is “The best lefty in sports history?” The graphic (again, thanks to Deadspin) showed Sandy Koufax, Steve Young, Phil Mickelson, Babe Ruth, and Bill Russell. And yes, the guy who asked a salon full of girls this off-season to keep the swearing down was also on the list.
Putting him with those names is an insult to anyone who has ever watched sports. You know who was left off that list? Wayne Gretzky (894 goals, 1,963 assists, 2,857 points & 4 Stanley Cups) and Ted fucking Williams (.406 BA in ’41, 521 HR’s, 1,839 RBI, led the league in batting average 6 times, career batting average of .344, two-time MVP winner & had his career stopped twice for serving in the U.S. MARINE CORPS AS A FIGHTER PILOT!)
But yeah, throw rag arm on that list instead of two of the greatest legends in the history of sports. It is unconscionable to even place the holy one’s name with those two, let alone throw him on a list just because of your agenda. You are nothing but insipid cuntbags, ESPN. I loathe and despise every aspect of your network & virtually everyone that works at that cult house. You’re the reason why real fans like myself tune into NFL Network, NBA TV, MLB Network & NBC Sports Network to try and get the real story and not be told how to think. So keep up the silliness because you’re only having an impact on the mindless sheep that don’t know any better.