For years and years, the NFL Draft has been my unofficial 2nd birthday. I live for it. As much as I dig the current 3 day format, I am still a fan of rounds 1-3 on Saturday, & rounds 4-7 on Sunday. I wouldn’t leave my couch for two days. I’d have a ton of food ready, and a draft preview on the table in front of me. I was a pseudo NFL GM every April. Not much has changed for since the days that the Bears were drafting Walt Harris, John Thierry, & trading the 11th overall pick in ’97 for Rick Mirer (thanks again, Wanny). It was important to me, because it’s the lifeline of any NFL team. You have to draft well. This isn’t news. As much as some people think you can overspend on guys that their own teams don’t want in free agency, you don’t sustain success that way.
That leads to me to Bears GM Jerry Angelo. I’ve been planning on detailing just how porous his drafts have been, but I had to wait until I had the time and patience to sift through this bum list. His first draft after years of doing the same garbage in Tampa, was 2002. I’ll warn you now, what you’re about to read might infuriate you. So if there is anything sharp around you right now, please move it. Thank you.
1. Marc Columbo – Not with team. Had a crippling knee injury, and never lived up to the 1st round status while in Chicago. He did go on to have a solid career with the Cowboys. Of course he did.
2. Roe Williams – Played 2 seasons in the NFL. Sweet.
3. Terrence Metcalf – Garbage backup. No longer in the NFL.
4. Alex Brown – Solid player for a Super Bowl team. Never a sack machine, but a value pick in round 4.
5. Bobby Gray – No longer in the NFL….And was bad.
5. Bryan Knight – Played only 2 seasons in the NFL.
6. Adrian Peterson – No, not that one. Good special teams player.
7. Bryan Fletcher – Played 3 seasons in the NFL.
2003 Draft– The infamous draft where the Bears held the 4th overall pick, and were predicted to take Terrell Suggs. Angelo didn’t think he was fast enough at the time, and traded down for the 14th & 22nd picks in round 1.
1. Michael Haynes – Total bust, No longer in NFL. He was the 7th defensive lineman taken by pick 14. Awesome.
1. Rex Grossman – What needs to be said?
2. Charles Tillman – Good pick. Starter on a Super Bowl team, and forces turnovers like a master. Why haven’t they drafted a corner with his size since?
3. Lance Briggs – Great pick in round 3. My vote for Angelo’s best pick.
4. Todd Johnson – Backup bum. No longer in NFL.
4. Ian Scott – Backup defensive tackle. No longer in the NFL.
5. Bobby Wade – Big mouth, bad player.
5. Justin Gage – Solid player for a minute when he left the Bears, but nothing to brag about.
5. Tron Lafavor – Played 2 seasons in the NFL. No longer in the league.
6. Joe Odom – Lamar’s dad? No longer in NFL.
6. Brock Forsey – Played 2 seasons. No longer in the NFL despite the meatball’s clamoring for him after one good game in ’04. I know, idiots.
7. Bryan Anderson – Played 2 seasons. No longer in the NFL.
1. Tommie Harris – Great player in ’05 & ’06, but his deteriorating knee got the best of him. Never regained his ’06 form after ripping his hamstring off the bone. His play the last few years with the Bears was a total embarrassment. My favorite post injury Tommie play was when he’d fall down right after the snap, and come in late after Julius Peppers made a play. You would think 91 beat a double team like Warren Sapp. What a turd. He’s still trying to hang on despite only having one leg.
2. Tank Johnson – Off the field issues with the Bears. Is best known for killing it on multiple seasons of HBO’s “Hard Knocks.”
3. Bernard Berrian – Solid deep threat on ’06 Super Bowl team, but was wisely let go when Vikings gave him $42 million.
4. Nathan Vasher – Solid cover 2 corner, until injuries got the best of him.
4. Leon Joe – No longer in NFL.
5. Claude Harriot – Played 1 whole season in the NFL.
5. Craig Krenzel – Played 2 seasons in the NFL. I don’t need to remind any Bears fan of the Thanksgiving Day game from ’04.
7. Alfonzo Marshall – Who?
1. Cedric Benson – When you have Thomas Jones in his prime, why take a headcase who plays the same position at the 4 pick?
2. Mark Bradley – Had that magical 1st half in Detroit in ’05, but shredded his knee.You’ll never guess this, but he didn’t do shit for the Bears.
4. Kyle Orton – The meatball’s football hero. He’ll be best known for being just good enough for Josh McDaniels to trade Jay Cutler for him. And, for being just good enough to get you beat.
5. Airese Curry – Played 2 seasons in the NFL. Yes, he was another wide receiver bum.
6. Chris Harris – Solid player in his prime. Now, he’s best known for never shutting up on Twitter.
7. Rod Wilson – Special teamer.
2. Daniel Manning – Was screwed over by Lovie in having to switch positions too often. Great kick returner. Now starting for Texans.
2. Devin Hester – Best kick returner of all time. Period. As for the wide receiver experiment, we’ve been over that in great detail.
3. Dusty Dvoracek – Always injured. Always drunk. Always bad. No longer in NFL.
4. Jamar Williams – Never lived up to the hope he could start alongside Urlacher & Briggs. One of many linebacker stiffs Angelo drafted.
5. Mark Anderson – Had a stellar ’06 season when nobody knew who he was. Once Lovie handed him a starting spot prior to the ’07 season, he shit the bed.
6. J.D. Runnels – No longer in NFL.
6. Tyler Reed – No longer in NFL.
1. Greg Olsen – Never worthy of a st round pick. How they got a 3rd rounder from Carolina for him still shocks me.
2. Dan Bazuin – The BUST of busts. No longer in NFL, and never should have been. The Packers took Randall Cobb aith the 654th pick in 2011, and Angelo takes this guy at 62. Un fucking real.
3. Garrett Wolfe – Was projected to go between rounds 6-7. Another abysmal pick.
3. Michael Okwo – Another linebacker who couldn’t play dead. No longer in NFL
4. Josh Beekman – Too undersized to play any position on the offensive line.
5. Kevin Payne – A stiff of a safety who couldn’t cover you. Yes, I’m looking at you.
5. Corey Graham – Great special teams player. Can’t get on the field as a corner.
7. Trumaine McBride – Not on roster.
7. Aaron Brant – No longer in NFL….Nor should he be.
1. Chris Williams – Drafted to be a left tackle, but showed up to camp with a pre-existing back injury. Did Angelo not know about this? And if he did, how can you take that guy at 14?
2. Matt Forte – Solid all around player. The lone weapon the Bears have on offense besides Jay Cutler.
3. Earl Bennett – Solid possession guy. The only guy besides Forte that Cutler trusts.
3. Marcus Harrison – Lazy as a stoner. Never capitalized on his potential.
4. Craig Steltz – Absolute clown. Aaron Rodgers couldn’t wait to throw to anyone Steltz was “covering” in week 3.
5. Zach Bowman – A training camp hero who gets hurt more Mark Prior.
5. Kellen Davis – Awful blocker despite his size, and loves dropping perfectly thrown passes.
7. Chester Adams – Played 1 season. No longer in the NFL.
7. Joey LaRocque – Played 1 season. No longer in the NFL.
Oh, and Kirk Barton and Marcus Monk were also taken in round 7. No, they aren’t in the NFL.
3. Jarron Gilbert – Bust! But hey, he can jump out of a pool!
3. Juaquin Iglesias – Bust! Angelo just can’t draft wide receivers.
4. Henry Melton – Showing signs of becoming a very good 3-technique tackle.
4. D.J. Moore – Starting Nickleback. Talks a lot of trash, but gets abused by good QB’s. And no D.J., you can’t beat D Rose in 1 on 1.
5. Johnny Knox – A one way player. Can sit in zones and make plays if open, but not good enough to make a play on the ball and help out his QB.
5. Marcus Freeman – No longer in NFL.
6. Al Afalava – Another safety that Angelo whiffed on. He hit hard apparently. I never saw it, because guys were always running right by him.
7. Lance Louis – Some think he can play. I think an already horrible offensive line is better without him.
7. Derek Kinder – No longer in NFL.
3. Major Wright – Was drafted to be a starter, but has battled injuries and inconsistent play.
4. Corey Wootton – I like his potential, but has to stay healthy.
5. Josh Moore – Bad.
6. Dan LeFevour – Was waived in his first training camp. The Packers took James Starks 12 picks later. Awesome.
7. J’Marcus Webb – Bum.
1. Gabr Carimi- Mike Tice told us that the Bear Jew would be a dominant run blocker from the jump. That would be fantastic if Mike Martz actually ran the ball. Plus, Carimi is hurt with a dislocated knee. Yes, that’s the same injury he had in college. Why does Angelo love guys with red flags like this?
2. Stephen Paea- Can’t dress on game days. What dos that about a guy who plays a position the team was desperate to fill?
3. Chris Conte- Why not draft another un-athletic white safety? Those guys always pan out.
5. Nathan Enderle- When the quarterback you traded two 1′s for isn’t 30 yet, why not draft a developmental guy who won’t ever see the field unless a catastrophic injury occurs? You can’t make this shit up.
6. J.T. Thomas- Who cares?
So there you have it, a disgusting recap of why the Bears lack star power, depth, & talent. That Packers game last week was motivation to write this post. The Bears are a Concord flight away from Green Bay when it comes to depth, and that won’t change as long as Jerry Angelo still has an office at Halas Hall. Having said all of that, they are still at least a touchdown better than the Panthers. The pick: BEARS -7 over Panthers
The rest of my week 4 picks. Home team in CAPS
Lions +1.5 over COWBOYS
Saints -7 over Jags
EAGLES -6.5 over 49ers
Skins -2 over RAMS
Titans pick over BROWNS
BENGALS +3 over Bills
CHIEFS +2 over Vikings
TEXANS -4 over Steelers
SEAHAWKS +5.5 over Falcons
Giants -1 over CARDS
CHARGERS -7 over Dolphins
PACKERS -13 over Broncos–LOCK ALERT!
Patriots -4.5 over RAIDERS
Jets +4 over RAVENS
BUCS -10 over Colts
Last week: 10-6