The Bears offensive line can't be turnstyles in 2010. If they play as expected, Jay Cuttles will have plenty of these moments.

Late July-early August is the time that hope springs eternal for NFL fans, unless you root for the Raiders, of course. As the Bears gear up to open training camp, Mr. Chi City is here to tell you, the Bears fan, what you should want out of your team in 2010. Having failed in my attempt to have the Bear’s 3 stooges(Lovie Smith, Jerry Angelo, and Ted Phillips) shit canned so they could hire Mike Shanahan, I’m hear to, undoubtedly piss the majority of Bears meatballs off. Nobody wants to root against their team, but for the Bears to get to a SuperBowl level, this team needs to 6-10 their way out of the playoffs this year to ensure that the 3 clowns get 86′d. Sure, the Bears spent money, Redskins style, in free agency, but that was just what the Cubs did after their 66 win ‘06 season. The Bears spending spree, which was highlighted by Julius Peppers, was the “brain trusts” plan to try and get good quick, and make the playoffs this season. Make the playoffs and save our jobs was the Halas Hall mantra this off-season. That may have worked to convince the football stupid, but not me. With a potential lockout on the horizon, most fans are only worried about this season. Win now is the mandate for some teams. Me? I always look long term because Bears fans deserve a team that will contend each season, and that won’t happen as long as Moe, Larry, and Lovie are in charge.

It doesn’t take Mike Martz’s throbbing brain to know that this team isn’t a conference championship caliber squad. If I thought that the Lovie-Angelo tandem was capable of leading the Bears to the promise land, I wouldn’t want them to utterly fail this year. The McCaskey family moves with the speed of ants when it comes to making major football decisions, so it comes as no surprise that Michael and Virginia’s corpses brought back their football imbeciles. This is the same franchise that brought back Dave Wannstedt after a dismal 4-12 ‘97 campaign. I’ve been done with Lovie as a coach ever since the way in which he botched the end of the Falcons game in ‘08 when the Bears pissed away a winnable game that should have resulted in Lovie walking back from the A-T-L. Jerry Angelo lost me after he traded Thomas Jones and a 2nd round pick for a 2nd round pick that resulted in Dan Bazuin. Awesome.

Quick Lovie Tangent: Another problem I have with “Mr. We get off the bus running the ball” is his handling of Devin Hester. Only this dumbass could take the best return man ever(sorry Gayle Sayers, but it’s true) and turn him into a mediocre wide receiver. Hester should be used like the Browns used Eric Metcalf back in the day. Have him return kicks primarily and have a set number of plays that he can master. We all know black Forrest Gump is dumb as can be, so why would Lovie want to put the burden of wide receiver on him? It’s because Lovie is a football retard, that’s why. Now, Hester and the Bears other brain child, Earl Bennett, have to learn Martz’s system? Good luck with that. They can’t add 2 + 2 let alone go to the line and figure out what defense the opposition is in.

This team has too many questions for me to be optimistic about a turnaround. With the Vikings and Packers clearly superior, the Bears are closer to last in the NFC North than first. The Lions are improving, as insane as that sounds, so they won’t be a walk through as they have been the last several years. The Bears schedule is a bitch, also. Besides the Packers and Vikings twice, road games against the Cowboys, Giants, and Dolphins are daunting. How many of those games can you say they will for sure win? Oh, and they also play the Patriots and Jets too. Where are these 10 wins coming from? You have to think that Michael and Virginia’s corpses have mandated 10 wins and playoff appearances to bring the stooges back, no?

I have questions about the secondary despite the additions of rookie Major Wright and the guy they never should have gotten rid of(Chris Harris). I’m taking week 4 as the time preseason star, Zack Bowman, gets hurt again. Will age and injuries catch up to Charles Tillman? I’ve always liked Corey Graham, but can he be counted on regularly? Signing Julius Peppers is great, but in a typical Bears move, they cut Alex Brown. The same Alex Brown who’s played in 127 out of 128 career games. Instead of having perhaps one of the better defensive lines in the league, they cut Brown for who’s know what reason. Will Brian Urlacher regain his old form or will the age and injuries take their toll? The offensive line nearly got Jay Cutler killed last year and without adding a significant addition(why couldn’t they sign Alan Faneca?). The hiring of Mike Tice is this year’s version of Rod Marinelli. One more time, say it with me…….It’s about the players, not a position coach. Chris Williams looked great against Jared Allen late in the season, but I have doubts he can be a stud left tackle. Josh Beekman is an undersized guard who should be playing center. Speaking of center, Olin Kreutz is beyond finished. He gets dominated at the point of attack, and that will be there for all to see week 1 when the Lions Ndamukong Suh takes him to school. Roberto Garza is decent at right guard and Frank Omiyale is switching to, as my buddy Epper, calls it….”his natural position” of right tackle. Riddle me this, if a guy sucks at guard, what makes you think he can be a good tackle? There’s a reason tackles get paid more than guards. This is the Bears biggest weakness, and is what could make Cuttles throw more temper tantrums than a spoiled kid who doesn’t get what he wants at Christmas.

Quick Jerry Angelo Tangent: There could be nothing quick about the mistakes this guy has made dating back to taking Marc Columbo with his first draft pick. However, since you’re already reading this, let’s go through some of “The General’s” dubious moves…..Michael Haynes 14th overall in ‘03: The guy loved snakes more than football. Yes, he was awful.

Rex Grossman 22nd overall in ‘03: Need I say anything?

Drafting Cedric Benson 4th overall in ‘05 when he already had Thomas Jones: Again, need I say anything?

Drafting Mark Bradley in the 2nd round in ‘05: My buddy, Epper, loved this guy after his 1 good half against a putrid Lions team as a rookie. Since then? He’s just another in a long line of awful offensive players picked by Angelo.

Drafting Dusty Dvoracek in the 3rd round in ‘06: D-Nasty couldn’t stay healthy playing flag football. The white trash stiff from Oklahoma set an NFL record by never breaking a sweat in an NFL game.

Drafting Garrett Wolfe in the 3rd round in ‘07: I laughed out loud when Angelo made this pick. Why you ask? Well, because in my Pro Football Weekly draft preview, they had Wolfe projected as a 7th rounder or undrafted free agent. The General took him in the 3rd! Wolfe has proven to have 1 special quality….he is the only player in the league that goes down when guys look at him.

I could go on, but I’ll save some for the rest of the season. Hey, it’s not even August yet.

If only the Bears had Jim McMahon and Walter Payton on this current garbage squad. Ah the good 'ol days. The only way to get back to the glory days is to start fresh once the 3 stooges are long gone.

I didn’t even get to the wide receivers or Gabrielle Olsen. The Bears have one of the worst wide receiver groups in the NFL, and Olsen has proven to be softer than John Allred. I didn’t like the Matrz hire when it happened because the Martz one year fix didn’t work in Detroit and San Francisco, and it won’t work here. There’s a reason that Martz was the Bears 4th or 5th choice. They don’t have the line or the receivers to make this system work.

Are you convinced this team is getting to 10 wins? If you are, congratulations, you are part of Bears meatball nation. Great organizations start at the top. It doesn’t matter if it’s an NFL team or a family owned business. Great ownership leads to a great product. Since there is zero chance of the McCaskey’s selling this team, it’s time for them to act like the charter franchise of the NFL for once. The Bears should be what the Cowboys are. They should be what the Lakers are in the NBA and the Yankees in MLB. They should be perennial contenders with a strong organization. When I look at the 3 stooges, the last thing I think of is a top notch group. The San Francisco 49ers won 10 or more games every season from ‘83 to ‘98 with 5 SuperBowls mixed in under owner Edie Debartolo. When Debartolo was forced to give up control of the team late in the ‘97 season, the 49ers dynasty began to crumble. From ‘99 to ‘08 under the leadership of Debartolo’s sister and her husband John York, the 49ers have been a joke. You think ownership matters? It hasn’t been until York’s son has taken control of that team that the Niners have showed progress. It isn’t hard. Look at the Blackhawks. Rocky Wirtz took over for his miserable old man and, boom, the Hawks were winning Stanley Cups. The pressure needs to be put on the Bears organization. Fans want to be optimistic this time of year, but remember who’s running this team? Even Virginia’s corpse will know it’s time to bring in a new team president, GM, and coach if this team fails this year. As much as it sucks to root for, know that for the NFL’s charter franchise to win another SuperBowl, it needs to fall flat this season. It’s what Bears fans should want out of this 2010 season. That way the stooges will be gone and Bears fans can hope the McCaskeys have Bill Cowher’s number on speed dial.