There aren’t many things I enjoy more than a game 7. It doesn’t matter the sport. Hell, I’d watch the PBA if they had a 7 game series. These NBA Finals haven’t been the prettiest basketball I’ve ever seen, but it had to come down to a game 7, didn’t it? The two most storied franchises have a combined 32 NBA titles between them and, tonight, we will crown the Celtics with their 18th or the Lakers with their 16th. So much is at stake for so many people tonight. Kobe’s legacy can be forever cemented with a win. Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett, and Ray Allen can become all-time great Celtics champions. Phil Jackson can seal his legacy as sports greatest coach. Rajon Rondo can become a legit franchise player with a strong game. Ron Artest can prove he’s not bat shit crazy with a steady game. Lamar Odom can erase his miserable Finals so far with a strong game. And Pau Gasol can shed the soft as puppy shit label forever if he stands up to Garnett and Rasheed Wallace’s physicality.Plus, this is the end of the Big 3 era in Boston. Win or lose, this is it for the Garnett, Pierce, and Allen core. Can they go out on top? Can Doc Rivers light up one more victory cigar before he takes a year off? Let’s get this going shall we?

They show Phil Jackson and Doc Rivers talking to their respective teams before tip. Phil mentions that this is their 104th game of the season. That’s a long haul for any team. Doc tells his team that Kendrick Perkins would tell his teammates he loves them. Doc finishes his speech saying in 20 years when we meet for a reunion and shake each others hands, let’s make sure our rings touch. I’m fired up right now listening to these two great coaches get their teams ready.

1st Quarter:

The crowd is into it from the start. It’s only news because Faker fans need a shot of adrenaline to get fired up for most games.

Rasheed with a nice fall away jumper. If only ‘Sheed liked playing in the post. His baseline fall away is un-guardable. It’s too bad he loves shooting 3’s more then Patrick Kane shoots whiskey. ‘Sheed is showing his skills with a nice banker the next time down over Gasol off glass. 5-4 L.A.

Reason number 847 why the NBA is better when the refs let these guys play. The physicality is at an 80’s level early. The flow of the game is solid early. I do have a sinking feeling that Joey Crawford will make this game about him at some point. Cross your fingers that he won’t.

Gasol goes up weakly and Garnett and ‘Sheed force a jump ball. Despite finally map questing a weight room last year, Pau continues to show his soft as puppy shit tendencies. 10-9 Boston.

ABC shows Tommy Heinsohn (8-time NBA champ & winner of the biggest homer broadcaster award) sitting on the edge of his seat. Chill Tommy, it’s the 1st quarter.

….And another missed Artest 3. He’s such a huge question mark tonight. Do you have confidence that he will deliver tonight? Neither do I.

The Celtics defense is locked in already. They are swarming Kobe every single time he touches the ball. Bulls fans should get excited about how good of a defensive coach Tom Thibodeau is.

Rondo will an alley-oop to Garnett. Pretty play by Boston. 15-11 Celtics.

3 point miss by Jesus Shuttlesworth. I tweeted before the game that Ray Allen definitely has a John Starks 2-18 game 7 performance in him. Not saying it’s going to happen, but it’s in play. Stay tuned. 17-14 Boston.

Big Baby with another layup. Davis is off to a good start. I’m convinced that he gets layups in traffic to fall because guys are terrified of that face he makes. You know the one where he flips his tongue all around. It’s creepy and weird. 21-14 Boston. Faker fans are nervous already.

End of the 1st quarter. Celtics shoot 59% in the quarter. The story is their defense. Kobe is only 1-7 from the field so far. I can only imagine those loud mouth Celtics fans right now. I can name 486 other places I’d rather be than a Boston bar right now. The team that has led at the end of the 1st quarter has won every game in this series. Someone get Jack a drink, and hurry. 23-14 Boston.

Doris Burke interviews Doc Rivers in the always uninformative end of quarter snooze fest. Burke gives us this gem….”When Rajon Rondo plays well, you guys seem to win.” Thanks Doris, I’m sure Doc and the rest of the world who has seen this Celtics team play didn’t know that. Why are there sideline reporters again?! They need to stop this nonsense real quick. They add absolutely nothing to the broadcast–except anxiety for yours truly.

2nd Quarter:

Kobe Bryant was only 6-24 from the field, but grabbed 15 rebounds en route to the Lakers 16th NBA Championship.

Kobe starts the quarter getting in the lane for a pull-up jumper. His best play of the night. He was awful in the 1st quarter. He wants this so badly, it affected his play so far. It’s obvious. He might need to pop in Michael Jordan: Come Fly With Me at halftime tonight to get himself going. 23-16 Boston.

We have our first Sasha Douchecic sighting of game 7. For those scoring at home, he’s still my most hated NBA player. I hope he goes 0-fer tonight. To think that turd gets a ton of ass in L.A. too. Goes to show you how fake Hollywood types are. What’s worse, the fact Sasha is lady killer or DJ Mbenga has a publicist? Think that one over….

Celebrity montage…..

Ryan Seacrest? That’s who they show first? It must be a light crowd tonight.

Holy shit does Ellen Pompeo look awful. Someone get her a tanning bed and a nap for Christ’s sake. Ugh.

For the record, Jack looks the same as he did when the Lakers won the ‘00 title in L.A. The guy ages like a fine wine.

9-0 run by the Lakers after an Artest steal and layup. Ron Ron has been better so far than I thought he would be. It’s still early, and he can still get into his Bulls mode. FYI- Bulls mode for Artest is when he does anything remotely insane. You know, like when he applied for a job at Best Buy and gave Jerry Krause as his reference when he was a Bull. I couldn’t make that up if I tried.

Garnett dives for a loose ball right in front of Jack. He dives into Jack’s seat, and The Joker side steps him like only he can. Dammit, that guy is cool.

Put back by Artest off a Kobe miss. That’s a 9-0 advantage in 2nd chance points for L.A. I’m pretty sure Perkins would be helping the Celtics rebounding. 25-23 L.A.

Another Jesus Shuttlesworth miss. He’s 1-5 with 3 points so far. Don’t discount the Starks game for him…

Kobe with a miss. He’s pressing in this first half. He will be remembered quite differently by the outcome of this game. No player has had this much at stake since Shaq in ‘00 before he won his first title. The Black Mamba knows this. He’s also playing like it. 29-29. The only positive from Kobe’s struggles so far is that Jeff Van Gundy can’t blow him the whole game. You think JVG is pining for the Lakers job if Phil leaves? So do I.

Terrell Owens is shown at the game. I wonder if his punk ass still thinks he can play in the NBA. When he was on the 49ers, he had a stint in the D-League. He wasn’t good. Considering he’s not good at football anymore, maybe he should give hoops another shot.

Leonardo Dicaprio is at the game as always. And yes, he’s got a scorching hot blond with him. It’s Leo, of course he does.

Another ‘Sheed turnaround shot off the glass. I can’t say enough how good he is in the post. He is one of the most talented players in the last 15 years in the NBA. It’s too bad he’s been a 3 point launching headcase for most of it. Shame. 35-31 Boston.

There it is! The Artest moment. Nothing too crazy, but he did pull down Pierce’s headband in their mini scuffle. This is a game 7! The pitiful double technical on Pierce and Ron Ron.

On cue, the second things get chippy Joey Crawford starts calling touch fouls. It’s like clockwork with this guy. I knew it was coming.

Hold on…My vision just blurred because Mr. Pale skin Brian Scalabrine is getting some burn for the first time since….since….probably since he was last in the sun.

Halftime. 40-34 Boston. The story of the 1st half is the Celtics defense. 26% shooting for L.A. Kobe is 3-14 with 8 points and Gasol is 3-12 with 6 points. Not the way the Lakers envisioned this playing out, so far.

I would watch the halftime report, but that would mean I would have to watch Stu Scott, Jon Barry, Mike Wilbon, and Magic Johnson spew some garbage for 15 minutes. No thanks, I’m good.

3rd Quarter:

Another Shuttlesworth miss. He’s now 1-7. Starks is in his sights. By the way, if you think I’m not enjoying bringing up the Knicks ‘94 choke job then you don’t know me very well. 42-36 Boston.

Garnett and-1 on a great pass from Rondo. Rondo is answering the bell tonight. 45-36 Boston. The anxiety at Staples right now is at a Sober House level.

Rondo with a beautiful floater to put the Celts up 11. Rondo has 8 points, 6 assists, and 4 rebounds so far. 47-36 Boston.

Kobe is now 3-17. I’m shocked he’s playing this poorly so far. The Celtics defense has pushed him out beyond the perimeter and made him take tough shots all night. Jordan never played this bad in a huge Finals game. Just saying…

Tony Allen checks in for Pierce who’s shaken up. If you’ve been following my Finals blogs, you know Tony Allen is one missed layup away from setting the all-time NBA record. Let’s see if he can break it…

What do you know, Lamar Odom is alive. He follows an Artest miss with a put back to bring the Lakers back within 6. The curse of Khloe may not take if L.O. makes a few more plays like that. 51-45 Boston.

More celebrities in the house….Jeremy Piven is there sitting on a booster seat.

Christina Aguilera looking gorgeous.

No! I just lost vision again. They didn’t show Scalabrine again, but they did show Andy Garcia and that horrific mustache. Why Andy? Why?

Courtney Cox-Arquette looking especially milf-ish. You’re aging well Monica Gellar. Cheers.

Another ‘Sheed bank shot off a post up. Bad back and all the guy is playing the way he should have his whole career. Imagine if he cared more and didn’t smoke so much weed? Yikes.

Kobe with his 11th rebound. He can’t make a shot, but he’s controlling the boards. A younger Kobe may not have been doing this when his shots weren’t falling. 56-51 Boston. Shuttlesworth deserves some love for his defense on Kobe. Kobe has been smothered all night.

Van Gundy is right on when he calls this one of the poorest played offensive games you’ll ever see. Both teams are bringing it defensively. This is proving all of those idiots who think college basketball is better than the NBA because “they try harder and play defense” wrong. College basketball at it’s best can’t touch the NBA. Period. And,it’s not even a discussion.

We get the split screen as they show Derek Fisher coming back from the locker room. Why do I get the feeling he’s going to make a massive shot or three in the 4th?

End of the 3rd quarter. 57-53 Boston. 12 minutes to go before we crown a new NBA champion. I can’t imagine Kobe will go out like this. 5-20 right now. This is your time Kobe…

4th Quarter:

Gasol starts the 4th with a turnaround jumper plus the foul. Welcome to the party Pau. 57-55 Boston.

Turnover Boston. Mark Jackson says it right…Ron Artest has been a defensive stallion tonight. This is why the Lakers signed him. To guard physical perimeter guys like Pierce.

Foul on Douchecic. This penis has never committed a foul in his life, just ask him. He bitches and grimaces every time they blow the whistle on him.

Shuttlesworth’s putrid night continues. He fouls Kobe 23 feet from the hoop. Kobe makes all 3 free throws. 59-58 Boston.

Ron Artest was a key for the Lakers game 7 win. The highlight for me was when he thanked his psychiatrist after the game. There's only 1 Ron Artest.

Artest with and and-1. He’s been unreal tonight. 17 points on the night. Tie game…61-61.

My feeling from earlier comes to fruition….Derek Fisher with a clutch 3. 64-64. 6:11 left…Mike Breen may not make it.

2 Kobe free throws gives L.A. the lead for the first time this half. 66-64 L.A.

Shuttlesworth misses again. Other than his game 2 binge, Allen has been abysmal all Finals.

Kobe knocks down a huge jumper to give the Lakers a 4 point lead. You can’t stop shooting. 68-64 L.A.

They show the Celtics previous 4 victories over L.A. in game 7’s. The Faker fans can feel it.

Would you believe me if I told you Shuttlesworth missed a layup? Of course you would. 70-64 L.A. Kobe with his 15th rebound.

Big shot by Pierce. 70-66 Boston.

Kobe drives to the rim and gets the foul. ‘01 Kobe would have thrown that down. He makes 1-2. 71-66 L.A.

Block foul on Pierce puts the smelly Gasol at the line who makes 1-2. 74-68 L.A.

Gasol with a tough hoop over Garnett. The weight room has paid off. We’re also exposed to the Gasol face. If you didn’t just see it, feel rewarded. It’s not pretty. 76-70 L.A. 1:30 left.

‘SHEED for 3! What a game from Wallace. 76-73 L.A. 1:23 left.

Artest for 3! You could sense the crowd cringing and saying “nooooooooo” as he shot it. Artest has earned his 5 year deal with this game alone. Holy shit what a 4th quarter. 79-73 L.A. 1:01 left.

Hey Shuttlesworth hit a 3! Who knew? 79-76 L.A. 51.3 left. The meatballs who think college hoops is better than the NBA are really taking Marciano type body shots to that argument tonight.

Kobe gets fouled and heads to the line. He looks spent at this point. ‘Sheed fouls out. I make fun of him, but what a performance by him. He may have taken until April to get in shape, but it paid off for Boston. Kobe hits 2. 81-76 L.A. 25.7 left.

Rondo hits a 3! This is insane. 81-79 L.A. 16.2 left. Rondo then with a near steal. Lakers ball.

Douchecic gets fouled. 11.7 left. He wipes his eyebrows before the free throws. Only this guy. He hits 2. 83-79 L.A.

Rondo misses a 3…and it’s over. The Lakers repeat as NBA Champions. Title # 16 for the Lakers. Confetti reins down as the Lakers celebrate. Ron Artest’s celebration, interview, and overall game make him a story tonight. Who thanks their psychiatrist? Ron Ron. That’s who dammit. He might deserve an entire blog post….

Kobe Bryant celebrates the Lakers 16th NBA Championship. Kobe now sits at 5 rings. He is the closet thing we will ever see to Michael Jordan. Appreciate that.

This was a great “bad” game to culminate the series I called One Last Dance. We probably won’t see these two teams meet again in the finals for a long time, but this game 7 etched it’s place into Lakers-Celtics lore. This is the end of an era for the Celtics. Doc Rivers will probably sit out a year to spend time with his children. The Big 3 had a good 3 year run, tonight the window closed for Pierce, Garnett, and Shuttlesworth. For Kobe Bryant, even though he was 6-24, he collected 15 rebounds and won his 5th NBA Championship. This game also showed Kobe’s maturation as a player. There’s no way ‘04-’07 Kobe would have deferred to his teammates like this Kobe did. That should show the Kobe haters just how much he’s grown as a player, and as a person. He may not be Michael Jordan’s equal, but you are watching the 3rd best guard to ever play the game, and the closet thing we will ever to MJ. 5 and counting for the Black Mamba…and he may not be done yet. He’s on a mission to reach Jordan’s 6 titles, and will be right back in the thick of it next year. Phil Jackson also cemented his place atop the coaching tree. With 11 championships in his pocket, he is simply the greatest coach in the history of sports. I don’t want to hear about how he’s had the best players. It’s not easy coaching NBA superstars (Shaq & young Kobe), and Phil has been a master of connecting to his players. You better believe Phil will be back next year as he goes for his 4th 3-peat attempt. That’s next year. For now, it’s time to celebrate and congratulate the 16 time NBA Champions. Their fans may be the worst, but you can’t knock results. It is what it is. Say Queensbridge!