In my ongoing attempt to get Cubs general manager Jim Hendry fired, or to disappear like a rat in The Sopranos, I thought this was the perfect time to put another nail in the soon to be fired GM’s enormous coffin. It’s not completely out of spite, but the latest “Cubby occurrence” has given me no choice. The Cubs dynamic duo (Hendry and Lou Piniella—Enter sarcasm) have decided to take the $91.5 million dollar set-up man and stretch him out for an eventual return to the Cubs starting rotation. Excuse me while I yawn and fall asleep for 2 hours. Only the Cubs get themselves into these kind of situations.

The Cubs went through this kind of debacle before. They created a monster– let that monster fester, paid the monster,( which killed his motivation), watched his skills diminish and, eventually, became so sick of that monster that they would do anything to rid themselves of it. How could the Cubs let this happen twice? It happened to them with Sosa in the 90′s, and it’s happening with Carlos (the $91.5 million dollar mistake) Zambrano now. Sammy was putting dumb Cub fans asses in seats, when he was the only attraction to some horrendous Cub teams. They paid him, let him show up late to spring training, let his henchmen parade through the clubhouse, allowed him to act like a petulant child, paid him some more, watched his skills diminish faster than his shrinking biceps, and finally planted a video tape of him leaving the park early in the last game of the ’04 choke job. Any organization with half a brain would have stepped back from that incident and said…”We can never let another player hold us hostage again.” Any team with a front office with knowledge, balls, and a vision would not let that happen twice to them. That’s always been the Cubs problem– no knowledge from the top down, no balls to take a highly paid player and set him straight (The Marlins just did it with the 2nd best player in the game. It was a quick decision, and it proved a point to the rest of the team), and no vision on how to see a mistake and learn from it.

Carlos Zambrano's elevator doesn't go near the top floor. His fastball doesn't go near 95-96 mph anymore either. That's a really bad combination.

Carlos Zambrano has been babied by the Cubs and Hendry since he’s shown his ace potential. They backed him in the Michael Barrett fiasco, they refuse to stand up to him when he drinks Red Bull out of water bottles,they give him the opening day start because he’s as fragile as Frank Bruno’s jaw, and have made excuses for him at every turn along the way…..much like they did with Sosa.

When you give one player that kind of leeway, it opens the floodgates to a one man wrecking crew feeling– like he can do whatever he wants. That’s where the Cubs are with Z.  Hendry has always been over matched in his role as GM, but he found Zambrano and has been determined to prove to the public that he was right on The Big Mental Midget. Hendry shares many of the same qualities of former Bulls GM Jerry Krause. “Crumbs” loved to find the diamond in the rough and gloat about it. Hendry has had that same kind of mentality towards Big Z since he became GM. I can’t figure out why. All of this for a guy who’s won 18 games once in his disappointing career.

When Piniella first decided to put the rag armed lard in the bullpen ,I figured it was to A) motivate him and get his head out of his ass, and B) to hopefully piss Zambrano off to the point where he would wave his no-trade clause (Hendry gives those away like Jerry Angelo gives away draft picks) and the Cubs could move his $18 million dollar salary. I was all for it. As I’ve written before, there’s always a sucker GM out there, and if Z was made available, teams would inquire. Would the Cubs have to eat some of his salary? Sure, but that’s what it would take to move one of the few contracts you can on this back loaded, un-tradeable gag outfit. It certainly wasn’t me channeling my inner Cub fan saying…..”Maybe Z will regain his velocity and we can put him back in the rotation!!” No. I’m about one thing with this pile of crap– clean house and build with young kids who are hungry. It’s the only way to change the culture of this titanic. The first move is to sell off the spare parts. This team isn’t going anywhere this year. Don’t tell me about the recent 4 game winning streak. Don’t let them fool you again Cubs fans. Start planning for 2011 Mr. Ricketts……NOW.

Side Note: I guess $18,875,000 million doesn’t get you what it used to. Unless you like an out shape fat loser with a 6.75 ERA. In 29.1 innings pitched this year, Zambrano has given up 41 hits, a 1-3 record, and the 25 most pointless strike outs in the majors this year. Did I mention that in his last outing he didn’t hit 90 mph on the gun? Why wouldn’t you move him back to the rotation? Good call clowns.

I bet Piniella wishes he wouldn't have just stuck around for his 2010 salary. Piniella, Hendry, and Zambrano all deserve the same fate after this season.

Tubby won’t trade Zambrano because his job is on the line this year. He’s all in at a level that rivals the upcoming Bears season. So, we are stuck with The Big Baby coming back to the rotation. That means someone has to be supplanted. Enter Tom Gorzelanny who’s been half decent so far this year. Lucky for Tubby and Uncle Lou, Gorzelanny hurt his pitching hand. Although the X-rays were negative, expect the dynamic duo to put him on the DL which will allow the monster to regain a job he doesn’t deserve to have. The Cubs starters have pitched well lately, now one needs to suffer because the $18 million dollar man is back in the rotation, despite a fastball that struggles to reach 90 m.p.h. Only the Cubs. Uncle Lou pushed to move Z to the 8th inning role–something that Hendry felt wasn’t a need to address in the off-season. It’s a mess that will get worse before it gets better.

While we’re at it, don’t put it past the overpaid Red Bull maniac to have tanked and grooved pitches in his bullpen stint. I wouldn’t put it past him for a second. Remember, when you create a monster, anything is possible. The Cubs deserve anything Zambrano lays on them because, after all, they created this beast. If Zambrano was an ace pitcher, nobody would care how he acts, but his act has grown more tired than the 7th inning stretch guest conductors. I hope Tom Ricketts is watching closely what is going on with this clown car team. His hands were tied with this team because of Hendry. Let’s just hope the 2nd year of his ownership doesn’t include the clown car of Mr. No-Trade Clause, Uncle Lou, and The Red Bull Monster.