Kentucky's John Wall is headed to Washington after the Wizards won the 2010 NBA Draft Lottery. That sound you heard was Wall throwing things at the thought of playing with Gilbert Arenas.

For reasons beyond comprehension, the NBA draft lottery remains one of my favorite events of the sports year. Much like the NFL draft itself, the draft lottery represents hope for the unwatchable NBA teams to the teams stuck in NBA hell desperately trying to get out. Hope springs eternal for all 14 of the lottery bound teams because each team has a chance, albeit a slight one, to win the top pick in the draft. This year’s crop of talent is highlighted by 3, potentially, franchise saving players in Kentucky’s John Wall, Ohio State’s Evan Turner, and Georgia Tech’s Derrick Favors. This is a deep and talented draft, so even the teams that don’t get into the top 3 will get a player who can help re-tool their squad. Except for the Knicks, who don’t have their 2010 lottery pick thanks to Isiah Thomas, trading it away in 2004 in the Stephon Marbury trade. Take a bow Isiah…..Thank you. Get used to it, Knicks fans, that is going to be first of many jokes I make about your dog ass team as the night progresses. As Shaq once said……Tell me how my ass tastes.

Side Note: Tonight is also the lone night of the year Secaucus, New Jersey is relevant. I’ve never been to Secaucus, but when all your known for is the NBA draft lottery, I know to take a pass.

I’m doing this running blog tonight because there is enough anxiety in the room to cause massive panic attacks. The 14 representatives for each team always give us looks of excitement, fear, horror and and the look a parent has right after their daughter tells them they are dating someone ten years their senior. It’s fantastic. Let’s get to it……

The Nets, Timberwolves, and Kings have the best odds of winning the number 1 pick, but as we’ve learned….it’s never that simple. The Bulls had a 1.7% chance of winning the Derrick Rose lottery, and thanks to David Stern the Bulls found their cornerstone. Thanks again, Commish!

I don’t have a rooting interest in this except to see the T-Wolves win because I want to see the worst GM in the league, David Kahn, either take his 3rd top 6 point guard in 2 years or explain to his beaten down fan base why he passed on John Wall. Two things: One, it’s guys like Kahn that give me a shot at someday running an NBA team, and two, only a guy like Kahn would take a point guard at 5 (Ricky Rubio-who I love) and at 6 (Johnny Flynn- who I like, also). Now he has a 19.9% chance at John Wall. Good planning ,David. It’s morons like you that give a guy like me hope to take your job someday.

6:45– I have a Joker sized grin on my face as new Nets owner, Mikhail Prokhorov is interviewed by ESPN’s Heather Cox. The Russian billionaire says his goal after winning the top pick is to build a global team. I’m grinning like a kid on Christmas because the Russian Mark Cuban says he plans on turning Knicks fans into Nets fans. I told you I was going to give it to Knicks fans all night. The scary thing is, I believe the new Nets boss.

7:04– Heather Cox, who is pretty attractive for an ESPN talking head, despite her hideous dress, is going over the rules. I won’t bore you with them other than I think this whole thing is rigged on occasion (’85 Ewing to the Knicks, ’92 Shaq to Orlando, ’93 Webber to Orlando, ’08 D Rose to the Bulls). ‘Nuff said on the rules. How funny would it be if Cox just broke it down like that?

7:09– A new Red Stripe commercial. I’m normally cool with the Red Stripe guy, but for some reason he’s in his underwear. What is going on? I didn’t need to see that.

7:13– Some guy named Martin Shannon from Ernst & Young places the cards on the table to be revealed. We are told he’s the only one that knows the results. Shockingly, we go to commercial. This is more drawn out than” The Bachelor” rose ceremonies.

7:16– Heather Cox announces the 14 representatives. We learn that Danny Granger is wearing his white James Bond jacket as a good luck charm. He just announced he has a John Wall jersey underneath it. Danny, you just killed your karma. This is even worse than your Pacers winning 10 of your last 14 games to kill your draft slot. Ugh, let’s move on. The remaining 842 Pacers fans are shaking their heads at their late season meaningless surge. They are the definition of NBA hell that I referred to earlier.

7:19– We are finally underway. NBA Deputy Commissioner Adam Silver wishes all the teams good luck. Ha. As if he doesn’t already know who’s winning this……

14. Rockets

13. Raptors

12. Grizzlies– Good. Even though this is the pick they were supposed to have, I’m ecstatic. That’s what they get for giving away Pau Gasol for a song. It was also a giant kick to the balls of a  fan base that didn’t deserve one. Someone should check owner Michael Heisley, because he may be dead. I honestly can’t tell with the blank look on his face.

11. Hornets. Things holding to form so far.

10. Pacers– I told you, Danny Granger. There is a 96% chance Larry Bird is punching something or someone in the back room.

9. Jazz– This was the Knicks pick. They could have gotten a solid piece at this spot to help lure free agents this summer, but the 53 win Jazz will gladly take it. Thanks again, Isiah. The Knicks are getting shut out this summer, I’m telling you. I can’t stop smiling.

8. Clippers

7. Pistons

6. Whoa, this just got interesting. The Golden State Warriors are the tough luck loser so far as they slide from the 4 spot to 6. This means the 76ers and Wizards have moved into the top 3. All of the Sixers fans have, momentarily, stopped ripping Donovan McNabb to celebrate. They are all going to run the steps, Rocky style, and finish their night yelling at unsuspecting people after too many drinks at Lucky 7.

5. Kings

4. T-Wolves– At least David Kahn won’t further embarrass himself by drafting another point guard.

We go to commercial with Mark Jones saying “and then there were 3″. He uses the same line every year. Hey Mark, switch it up one time, huh?

Here we go with the top 3…..

3. Nets– Ouch. There goes the sliver of hope the Nets had at getting LeBron James this summer. I just did the Jordan fist pump knowing the Bulls chances of getting LeBron went up. This is better news than LeBron looking at houses in Highland Park on Tuesday. I’m getting the feeling LeBron will be a Bull.

2. 76ers– Those same Sixers fans are back to bitching and moaning about McNabb and claiming they just got screwed. If they new anything about basketball in Philly, they’d know Evan Turner will be a stud for them. The odds of Doug Collins being the next Sixers coach just increased tremendously. I’m happy for the few remaining die hard Sixers fans. They deserve this. Only 27% of Philly sports fans are tolerable.

1. Wizards– The Wizards win the lottery for the first time since ’01 when Michael Jordan drafted Kwame Brown. John Wall won’t have to play a minute for the Wizards and he’ll be better than Kwame. Too bad for Wall that he has be around Gilbert Arenas for the first part of his career. The cool story of tonight is the Wizards were represented by Irene Pollin, the wife of the late Abe Pollin, who wore her husbands 1978 Bullets championships ring. Maybe there is something to this whole karma thing after all. It’s a great story, and it gives new life to the Wizards franchise. It also proves you need luck to build an NBA contender, and tonight the 76ers and Wizards got their break. For the Nets? The karma God’s are apparently still pissed at Ivan Drago for killing Apollo Creed. The Nets failings tonight are a huge boost the Bulls efforts to land LeBron James. Sorry, Mr. Russian Billionaire, some things are just meant to be. Cue Sweet Home Chicago for LeBron…..